Sevenly

On another note, I recently came across an awesome site....Sevenly.com! The idea is genius and if I could, I would totally work there! They design a couple of shirts/sweaters for both sexes for a certain cause/charity (Part of the proceeds go to the charity of course). Each week is a new design for a new cause. Check it out!!!

That Independent Itch

So I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling that itch to get out of the 'ole house. Ever since I went to Oregon and stayed at my friend's place, I had such a strong will to get out. Of course, I've always planned to live with her-whether a joke or for real, I'd totally be down. So I told myself that I'd wait until she came back home, which would give me two years to find a better paying job that would allow me to afford a place away from the parentals. Even though I told myself that in order to calm my mind down, the itch never goes away.

I'm always thinking of things I want in my own room/studio area. I'm always worried about how I would come about a better paying job. I've even made plans to go into business with that friend, but it's still in the very early stages. It would be awesome to have my dream (job) in two years, but I'm not relying on it. I still have a ton to learn, and a lot I want to see. Although, being a young successful entrepreneur would be so awesome. It would be such an ego booster.

I'm letting things take it's path, but it's hard not to be hard on myself for not being where I dream of being RIGHT NOW. In such a fast paced world, I know how easy it can be to just get lost and settle in for comfort. But that is EXACTLY what I live in fear of everyday as I go to my low paying job or dreaming about my ideal situation. I fear that I will settle and never reach my dream.

It's hard to just be okay with "paying my dues" right now. It's hard to keep on moving forward with my design world while having a full time job. Maybe I just have to push myself and work on my on pursuits ALL the time I'm not at work. No time for play. I'm so confused as to what I SHOULD be doing...

All I do know is that I don't want to end up with regrets of not fulfilling my dream.

Changes.

Since I graduated high school, there have been many changes in my life, some expected and some not so much. I have lost a few people close to me, both physically and metaphorically. And although losing loved ones physically is hard, I think it's harder when you lose someone metaphorically (in most cases), because you can't help the physical losses (in most cases). But with the metaphorical losses, I feel as if I could have done something to avoid it, or it was because I am easy to leave. Either way, I feel as if it's my fault.

Not only did I lose people, but I also lost a part of myself. I did grow a lot in the past three years, but I lost a part of my identity that makes it so hard to know where to begin to find myself again. I am no longer a Raider nor a competitive swimmer. That was basically my entire life. It's such a journey, figuring out who you are. Some people never do. But ever since as far back as I can remember, I was always analyzing myself, trying to figure out what was me and what wasn't. It's so hard to just leave the parts that you defined/associated yourself with.

Don't get me wrong though, I've definitely gained a lot, like courage, independence, and strength. I've also become closer to one of my best friends than we were in high school, which was still pretty close. And I am so grateful for her. I know my other best friends will always be there for me, but it's really nice to have someone to go to for everything, someone to talk to every single day. It's so amazing that we do talk so much. I mean it was so easy before college since we went to the same school and we swam together like everyday, but we are thousands of miles apart and still manage to talk to each other like we were right next to each other 24/7 (for the most part). And yes, it is so easy nowadays with technology, but so many people are so busy and have a lot going on that they can't find the time.

So I guess all in all, I need to focus on what I have gained because that is what's going to keep me moving forward. The losses will just pull me backwards, and that's just a snowball effect waiting to happen. Life is full of downs, but there are also many ups. :)

So it's been a little over a week and so far I LOVE MY JOB! It might not be exactly what I want to do but I am not only gaining confidence when it comes to talking to strangers, but also I've met some of the nicest co-workers and supervisors I could have imagined! I thought the reason why I could end up staying there was getting too comfortable with the job, but I think if I do, the reason would be because of the people I work with. They are extremely nice and helpful. It's like we are one team. (Haha) Bringing me back to my 'Iolani roots. Anyways, I'm pretty sure I caught on to everything pretty quickly, and if I'm not sure about anything, I'm not afraid to ask.

I had my first customer that I think will stick in my head for the rest of my life, but my supervisor was really nice about it. She even asked if I was okay after! And that's all that really mattered to me. I know that sometimes I won't be able to make a customer happy, but as long as my coworkers and supervisors still look at me in a positive light, then I'll be okay :)

I'm glad I am starting out with this job (minus the three other jobs I had during high school/college times) because it has taught me so much and I really feel like I'm doing my duties to get to where I want to be in the end. My feet were killing me in the beginning but after a week, they are fine!

Hard work will pay off!

Real World: Frustration

Coming home from college was one of the best and most natural feelings. In the back of my mind, I sometimes wish that I had stayed on the mainland or gone off to a foreign country in hopes of finding opportunities that would aid me in reaching my full potential as a designer, or whatever I am meant to be. (I'm actually glad I didn't--at least for the summer-- because I got to spend time with my Popo-grandma- before she passed.) Anyways, I've recently been hired to work at a retail store, and although I am so glad to work for the company, I have become extremely frustrated. It's just hard to be in a place that doesn't seem to motivate me like I was in high school, where I grew to strive for challenge. It's hard to be surrounded by people who don't share the same drive and level of knowledge as me. I am not trying to put people down, because I know that I was lucky to have the education I got and that that doesn't make me a better person or anything. I guess what intensifies this frustration is seeing everyone else that I know get jobs or internships that are huge breaks in their desired careers. I just feel like everyone is moving forward and I am moving backwards. I feel like I am wasting all of my parents' money and sacrifices. I am scared of getting stuck or too comfortable. I feel like I could/should do so much more.

But I am trying to believe that not everyone's pace/path to success is not the same. This job is not a waste of my time--I never thought that-- because it will actually help me a lot with getting out of my shell, which is something I really need to achieve in order to succeed. I love the company not only because of what they sell (haha), but also in everything they stand for. Being a locally owned company, it might actually help me a lot. I ultimately want to have my own local company, so seeing how they work in order to keep up with the other bigger companies is really intriguing and helpful. They are so ethical and really treat their customers with the utmost respect. This company really shows me that going out into the real world while keeping my morals and being successful is possible. So maybe I just need to look for/at things that I can get from this experience that will help me in the future. I just need to stay positive and moving forward. I have to believe that everything happens for a reason and will eventually fall into place.

Remember: Always remember the bigger picture.

*Disclaimer: I am in no way implying that I think I am better or superior to anyone. I know and am thankful that I was blessed with parents who did everything they could to make sure I got an excellent education.

Hello, World!

ALL ABOUT ME--STEPH!

I am a local girl, born and raised on the island of Oahu, Hawaii.

I recently graduated from the University of San Francisco with a Bachelor of Arts, majoring in design. Being fresh out of college, I am very open-minded in where I want my design skills to take me. I've always dreamed of having a local company of my own that produced t-shirts, stickers, etc. But there are so many jobs that require the artistic eye that I am really just open to anything related to art. I hope that throughout my career I get my feet wet in a wide variety of art-related tasks.

As an over-thinking and self-reflective person, I am always trying to be the best person I can be. I stand strong to my morals and what I think is ethical. I guess you could say I like to be as "real" as possible. My friends and family are my world, which without I would not be here today. My heart's desire is to make a difference in people's lives by giving them hope or influence them. If I were to save someone's life (not necessarily a literal save--although I am a certified lifeguard), I would have served my life's purpose.

In a nutshell of a length paragraph (haha), this is my life: people, candidness, relationships, swimming, ART (drawing, painting, photography, scrapbooking, crafts, uhm design), yoga, hula, coconut verbena lime lotion, Kealii Reichel, Snoopy, romance, Gilmore Girls, OTH, F.R.I.E.N.D.S, NCIS, water, cake batter ice cream from Cold Stone, Cafe Laufer's Chinese chicken salad, South Shore Grill's chicken burrito, mostly all fruits, bread (my weakness), milk products (before I became lactose, dang you Asian genes!), God, HE>i, math, straight hair, the occasional days when my wavy hair decides to look decent, natural, Futura, gardenia,       ...to be continued.